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Child Psychiatrist /Adult Psychiatrist

DEAR MAN

Updated: Sep 16, 2023


DEAR MAN

Describe

Clearly and concisely describe the facts of the situation, without any judgement.

"You have asked me to work late 3 days this week"


Express

Use "I" statements to express your emotions.

"I feel overwhelmed by the extra work I've been given."


Assert

Clearly state what you want or need. Be specific when giving instructions or making requests.

"I need to resume my regular 40-hour work week"



Reinforce

Reward the other person if they respond well to you.

Smiling saying "thank you", and other kind gestures work well in reinforcement.



Mindfullness

Describe

Clearly and concisely describe the facts of the situation, without any judgement.

"You have asked me to work late 3 days this week"


Appear confident

Use body language to show confidence even if you don't feel it.

Stand up straight, make appropriate eye contact, speak clearly, and avoid fidgeting



Negotiate

Know the limits of what you are willing to accept, but be willing to compromise within them. “I’ll finish the extra work this week, but I won’t be able to manage the same amount of work next week.”



DEAR MAN


Instructions: Choose a specific interpersonal challenge you are dealing with, or that you have dealt with in the past. Answer the prompt for each step to create a plan for communicating about the issue



Describe: What are the facts of the situation? Do not include opinions or interpretations.


Express: Write an “I” statement to express your feelings: “I feel _____ when _____.”


Assert: How will you tell someone what you need? Respond with the specific language you will use.



Reinforce: How will you reward the other person for responding well to you?



Mindfulness: What is the goal of your interaction? What other topics might distract from the goal?




Appear confident: Describe the posture, eye contact, and tone of voice you will use.




Negotiate: What are the limits of what you are willing to accept?


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